Metamorphosis in Blue
Monday, February 2, 2009
Dear Shia,
I keep having to wipe the drool away from my mouth and remind myself that you are only 22.
QUITE legal, but still way too young for me.
It all started with Even Stevens; it was okay to say "AWWW what a cutie" then, because I was young, and YOU were young. Michael and I said "that kid has charisma, he's going to be BIG someday"....
Then there was Holes- which I sat through ONLY for you.
Fast forward various roles- ooooooooooh, here you are in I, Robot - Ye gods it was too easy to see how darn CUTE you were getting.
Then the real trouble.
Transformers- your first "big" role. Mega hotness. Old enough for me to stare at your ass in scenes and not risk being arrested for ogling jail bait.
Pissed at mega-hot Megan Fox getting to touch you and stuff. Naturally you WOULD have the hottest co-star, ever. UGH.
I endured Indiana Jones and stared at your ASS in jeans. Who cares if you had weird, fried blond hair? I wasn't looking at that.
Finally I just broke down and admitted my sexual lust for you.
I. Want. You.
Michael is comfortable with my lust for you, because he thinks it's "safe".... (i.e, will never happen)
*Sighs*
He is probably right...but a girl can dream.
Oh, snap! Now Transformers 2 will be coming out-I am going to see it on IMAX - MEGA SHIA....except, except...DAMN, your co-star is back. PLEASE, PLEASE no kissing scenes. You don't seriously want me crying in the middle of the theater? You don't want me throwing popcorn tubs and soda cups at the screen?
You don't want me REALLY being dragged out by security for death threats again Megan Fox???
Thank you...
Love,
Mj
posted by SpiderLily at 11:08 AM
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